38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
