do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
we're so committed to being not committed
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize