If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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