shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize