one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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