afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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