You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
