I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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