Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
