we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
