I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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