She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
