If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
