Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize