I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
