Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
