TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize