tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
