I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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