# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
