Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize