it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
