and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
