we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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