I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
