I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
