Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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