i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
