Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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