I want to have your abortion
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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