Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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