First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
