The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
