i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
