They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize