you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
