are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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