I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
