Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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