...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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