You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
