This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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