The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
