Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize