Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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