why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
