the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
