I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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