I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
