We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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