Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
