Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize