these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
