i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
