If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
