Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
try to milk me bitch
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
