can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
