Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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