Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
