You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
