So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
