when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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