I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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