Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
