thus making me awesome and them whores
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My vagina is very pro this idea
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
