Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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