4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
