ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't deserve a penis
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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