his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
