his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
